Llama's Face
Llama's Face By:GlueBottles4Ever, Apple_Pie, Fat Bunny, allasophy, The short one Llama's Face is the terrible story filled with plot holes, inceptions, and both grammatical and historical inaccuracy. Enjoy! The Actual Story One day a llama walked with his pet the pig. The llama was hungry, so he went to eat the pig. The llama ate the pig with barbecue sauce and some of the sauce stayed on his face permanently. The sauce happened to make the shape of a llama, so from then on, he became known as Llama’s Face. So, now he goes on and commits crimes by stealing kids’ candy! Haha, we were just kidding about that last part. He is now a ballerina that loves cookies, until the fat bunny steals them from him. Fat bunny was commonly known to be the world’s greatest cookie thief, despite his massiveness. Never yet caught, Fat bunny lived in an impressive cookie shaped mansion. Fat bunny had recently lost a world class cookie to the face llama. Unacceptable! How he dare lose that cookie, he thought. Now everyone knew that Fat bunny was clumsy, so he went and stole cookies by size not skill. Back to Llama’s face, his real name is Phil Lihp, but nobody called him that. Llama’ face was devastated by the loss of the cookies he had gotten from the king for serving as a loyal noble. He had beaded them and happily hung them outside his hut. He and only he could see the outline of Fat bunny’s mansion and set off to find him. The mansion wasn’t very noticeable. It was just a regular mansion shaped like a cookie,k1 but somehow Llama’s Face was able to find it without any problems. The mansion was filled with cookie goodness that Fat bunny stole. Fat bunny was stuffing himself, when Llama’s Face walked up to the mansion and tried to break down the door. The only problem was that the mansion was a trap for Llama’s Face! The fat bunny wasn’t as dumb as he looked. Fat bunny smiled in triumph, Llama’s Face was now stuck in a bucket of cookie dough. “Let me out!” said Llama’s Face. “No, I want you to borrow a cookie without asking or returning it, Fat bunny said. Looking confused, Llama’s Face asked, “wouldn’t that be stealing?” “I will release you if you give me the golden cookie, as well as its batch,” Fat bunny said, ignoring the llama. “That is stealing, right?” “Duh! Of course it is stealing, what kind of cookie thief are you?” yelled Fat bunny, losing his composure, “and if you fail, you shall be suffocated in that cookie dough, which will haunt you for eternity.” “What?” “Do we have a deal, my dear llama?” Fat bunny asked smoothly. “I guess we do.” ~ The not a cookie thief became a cookie thief, just to clarify anyway. Llama’s face was devastated by the horror of having to become a thief, but knew he’d have to if he did not want to be doomed to a death of cookie dough. Just as he got the idea of being free but not a thief, Fat bunny sent down a wizard to curse him. The wizard came down. He was a, crumb-covered, beardy man; a kind of man you would think was jolly. “Hello, my name is Albus Subla.” “Mooda Adoom!” said the wizard. Fat bunny said, “Now if you don’t steal those cookies, you shall drown!” ”No!” said Llama’s Face. “Cookie dough is my second favorite snack, “declared Llama’s Face. So, Llama’s Face kept eating the cookie dough, but more kept coming! It was like quicksand, but with cookie dough. So, he jumped up and got out of the cookie dough. The fat bunny laughed,” Now you are worthy to challenge me!” Llama’s Face woke up. “I see you woke up. How were the hallucinations?” Fat bunny asked. Llama’s Face looked down, he was indeed still trapped. “You remember our mission, Llama?” Fat bunny asked. “It’s Llama’s Face, get it right!” retorted Llama’s Face in defiance. “Do you?” Fat bunny repeated. Seeing no other way out of his predicament, Llama’s Face replied, “Yes.” “Then go,” said the bunny. Llama’s Face (now safe and free) decided that the quicker he did this, the better. Then, he got the idea to run away and tell the police of Fat bunny’s lair. As soon as he got the idea, the spell Albus Subla put on him came into effect and the cookie dough started to rise up his legs. Panicking, he tried to free himself, but the dough just kept rising. The next thing he knew, he was up to his head, and he blacked out. When he regained consciousness, he was covered in cookie dough except for his eyes, since he wore glasses. He walked with much effort, because the sun was drying the cookie dough, making it harder and heavier. When he reached the police department, he was mistaken for a cookie dough monster and thrown in jail. While he was in the jail cell, the cookie dough disappeared, but he was sucked into a cookie vortex. He landed in a land where everything was cookie dough. “How did you come across the dough chamber?” Fat bunny asked,” I keep it sealed, so that only one cursed by The Cookielord can enter the vortex.” Perplexed, Llama’s Face asked,” Who is The Cookielord?” “I have no interest in idiots who know nothing about cookie lore. Ask Albus Subla to tell you the ancient tale,” said the bunny in a bored voice. After summoning Albus, Fat bunny swept out of the chamber. “I shall start from the beginning,” said the wizard. The wizard began the long, dark and evil tale. “Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Long ago, during the middle ages, a serf was walking through the castle to get a pot for the lady of the manor. At the potter’s shop, he heard the potter chanting a spell three times, and said what he wanted. A pot came up, since the potter had asked for a pot. The serf hid, and watched the potter. After a few minutes, the potter made sure no one was looking, turned around and waited for the next customer. Seeing this, the serf came out of his hiding place and bought a pot. Later that evening, at the manor, the serf tried the spell but asked for money instead of pots. k3 The serf became rich! The potter became curious, so he went to visit the serf. He realized he was using his spell. The potter revealed that he was a sorcerer and cursed him and his descendants. The serf was done k4 by the sorcerer a.k.a. the Cookielord. “Oh,” said Llama’s Face as he tried to grab hold of everything the wizard said. The wizard smiled an evil smile as another lost traveler he had seen wandering around k6 before came up. “Can I be freed?” he asked. Llama’s Face knew who was evil by the look of their face, so he knew that this wizard was evil. But, the wizard just smiled and said, “Yes, “and tapped him with his wand. The traveler immediately disappeared. Llama’s Face stared at the wizard, and asked in his bravest voice (which wasn’t very brave) and asked,” Can I be freed?” The wizard looked and smiled, in a calm teasing voice he said “No,” and walked away. Llama’s Face followed the wizard he pleaded, “Free me!” “No,” the wizard said. Llama’s Face said,” Meh, you are a bully!” “Whatever.” “You’re fat!” “Yeah, Whatever,” said the wizard. “Ugly!” yelled Llama’s Face. The wizard ignored him. “You are a noob!” declared Llama’s Face. The wizard turned around, “How dare you! Now you shall die! Any final wishes, fool?” The llama replied,” To be freed?” “I shall grant your final wish, and then, you shall die!” the wizard said. Llama’s Face disappeared with a tap of Albus’s wand. The wizard said,” Now I have to find him again!” Immediately, the Fat bunny appeared in front of Llama’s Face. They were standing in a kitchen area. “I sense the wizard told you lies, because you would insult him in the future,” said Fat bunny, “perhaps it is best that I tell you the story myself. However, I am too lazy to do that, so watch the presentation instead.” A movie screen came into focus. The presentation started and an image flickered on the screen. No sound came out, instead there were captions. It was in black and white and very staticy, the captions read: “His parents were trapped because they were bad. He was born with the power to free people. He freed his parents, but couldn’t free himself. The end.” Overall it lasted about 7 seconds. “That was life sorry, whoops,” said Fat bunny. “I am confused, if that’s really your life story, then how come you’re here?” Fat Bunny moved in front of him. ”You are not going anywhere. This is a video of what you’re going to do.” Another video appeared; it showed a bad drawing of a llama taking a cookie, giving it to a bad drawing of a bunny. A check appeared over the scene. Then, the screen showed the llama eating the cookie. An X went over it, and the video exploded. “That will happen to you if you disobey my orders, Mwahahahaha.” “Eh, I don’t care” Llama Face said. So, the Fat Bunny was like, “Oh, meh. I shall now cage you in a ……….. Cage! Mwahahahaha!” Then, more Fat Bunny guards took Llama face and put him in the cage. The Llama face said, “Can I eat some cookies?” One of the guards said, “No, you shall only eat veggies!” “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” wailed Llama Face. Then, the Llama Face sat on the floor and cried. “Get up you stupid Llama! Get up for your honor!k7 ” yelled Fat Bunny, slapping Llama’s Face’s Face, “I am insulted that you fell asleep during my documentary on cookielore. Now, I shall play it again.” “Seriously,” Fat Bunny said, “You should see a doctor. Blacking out like that can lead to serious injuries. NOW WATCH THE VIDEO!” The seven second video started. However, when he was reading it, he heard the click of a gun. Because of his instincts, he whirled around to see a gun pointed at his face. Fat bunny, who was holding the gun, glared and smiled evilly and then said, “Bow,” crunch, crunch, as cookie crumbs showered to the ground, “to,” as more cookie crumbs showered down, “Me.” Then, he ferociously gobbled down the cookie and shot. Fortunately and unfortunatelyk8 , he missed. “Ahhh!” said Fat Bunny. Llama Face charged at Fat Bunny, but he couldn’t even move him a centimeter. He did not know what to do, so he just ran. He ran and ran and ran until he found a box. The box was big, so he made a trap for the Fat Bunny! He put a cookie in the box and waited for the bunny to come. The bunny fell for the trap and yelled, “You think this can hold me? I shall destroy you!” and broke the box to pieces. The Llama Face was chased by guards, and he was at a dead end. He looked up and there was a hole! Since he couldn’t reach it, he jumped on the guards head’s to reach it but fell face down on the floor on the Fat Bunny’s belly.k9 Fat Bunny’s guards took Llama Face. “Life is despair. Everything is pointless. And then you die!” the Fat Bunny said. The Llama was cornered. He couldn’t escape, and he knew he was going to die. However, when he started to think this, a car swerved off the road, toward the alley. Just then, another Llama Face came over and bashed Fat Bunny’s guard on the head. Fat Bunny looked at the fallen guard and fled the scene. He looked at his “twin,” but his “twin “had turned and left. He looked around and saw a time-turner; Llama Face looked at it, picked it up and went off to find his “twin.” “That is ridiculous. Can you please stop falling unconscious like that?” asked Fat Bunny irritably. “Sorry” Llama Face Looked around. Sadly, he was still stuck in front of the screen. “Clearly my videos don’t help you, I will have to tell you myself,” Fat Bunny declared. Fat Bunny began the tale of cookielore, “For many years, cookies had not yet been created. One day, the cookie lord created batch of cookies so mouthwatering, they were locked up in various cages to prevent war. There was one cookie in the batch, which was absolutely perfect. It was known as the golden cookie.” Llama Face knew it would be better to trick him but how? “Hey Fat Bunny, why are you so round?” he asked. Fat Bunny didn’t give it a second thought, “I was put on this Earth to eat every single cookie and it comes with the sacrifices. Ahhh, those were the days…….” When Fat bunny came out of his day dream, he saw Llama face was nowhere to be seen. Llama Face was running from one alley to another. He finally found the exit, but it was locked from the inside! But, he just turned the lock and ran away. He was constantly chased by fat Bunny and his army. He had to stop this, but how? Llama face had to find a way to trap Fat Bunny, but he didn’t dare stop running. Sprinting past his friend’s houses, he reached his house. Fumbling with his keys, he tried to unlock the door. He opened the door and stumbled in. Panting, he slammed the door and slid down. After a while, he got up, locked the door, and looked around and first noticed it was trashed. Confused, he walked around finding every room trashed and multiple items stolen. He looked at the calendar and realized it had only been three days. Suddenly, he heard a bang and saw his pet pig run out of the kitchen. Cautiously, he peeked into the kitchen and gasped. Wait, his pig was dead. He had eaten it pretty recently. So, how was he here? Of course, he had fallen asleep again. Waking up, the Llama saw a bowl of cold water was coming closer. “No, Gahhh!” Llama Face screamed, “What was that for?” Fat Bunny replied, “You fell asleep for like the eighth time. Look let me finish my story. The golden cookie was awesome and stuff and the rest of the batch is just awesome, no stuff. They have been preserved. I want you to bring me my cookies.” Llama Face protested, “But, how are they your cookies?” “Don’t you get it? I am the Cookielord.” Llama Face paused for a second, and then he stared at Fat Bunny. He said, “Y-You t-the Cookie-l-l-l-lord!” and then fell to the ground. “Why do I need to find the cookies for you, Whaaaaaa?” He shattered into tears. He shut his eyes and slept. He was suddenly in a magical world full of fat pigs! He made a trap to collect all of them to eat, but he fell into his own trap. He still ate the pigs that fell in there, though. When will this world run out of pigs? He heard a voice from a distance. “WAKE UP!” screamed Fat Bunny. “Why do you keep falling asleep?” He turned around and screamed, “Albus Subla! Chiron Norich ! Come one down! We have a guest!” Llama Face watched as Albus the wizard came down and an unknown human he guessed was an apprentice. “Set a curse on him. He shall not sleep until I finish this presentation.” Albus nodded and talked to Chiron. After a while, Fat Bunny said impatiently, “You done?” Albus nodded quickly and screamed, “Abb Cadeva!” while pointing his wand at him. He felt the curse shake him. Albus smiled and said, Now listen,” and walked away. “I will now finish my story without interruptions,” Fat Bunny snapped, “I am the Cookielord, bring me my golden cookie and its batch. Complete your quest and return here, there will be no ‘sneaking or ducking out of it’ as they say, you are cursed to complete this quest or die. Even if you overcome the curse and succeed, if you try coming after me after that, I will wipe your memory and make you my slave. Now, go start your quest.” “Will you give me any supplies?” Llama Face asked hopefully. “No, now go start.” The Llama Face set off the next day. He was heading toward the cave on the other side of the mountain. It was said a sleeping kitty protected the cookie s12 at any cost. On the way up the mountain, Llama face met a dragon and asked for a lift, but in return, he had to guess the dragon’s favorite food. “A cookie,” guessed Llama Face. The dragon was surprised, “How did you know?” “This is Cookie Village after all.” “Oh” And with those goodbyes , Llama Face started into the cave. The cave was full of cookie diamonds, (they were edible) but he kept going, to find the ULTRA COOKIE! The ULTRA COOKIE was the fairest cookies14 of them all. The cookie could give you anything you asked for, that was in the universe. The Llama Face kept walking into the cave, thinking about what he should wish for. After a while, he was tired, but saw a monster (Cookie related) right in front of him. “Oh come on! I have been through so much. GIVE ME A BREAK!” the Llama Face said. The monster said, “Oh, okay let me fix you up with some milk and cookies and a nap.” “Really?” Llama Face asked. “NO! You shall die painfully by your favorite thing in the world!” the monster said. “What?” The Llama face asked. “Cookies!” said the monster. Llama Face was bewildered. Thinking hard, he tried to see if he could get past the beast guarding the cookie. However, Llama Face wasn’t the sharpest knife and couldn’t see the obvious catch. The monster smiled, “What is your favorite thing?” Llama Face, with nothing else on his mind, stammered, “The ULTRA COOKIE.” k15 The monster stopped laughing and looked at Llama Face. Llama Face smiled and said, “The ULTRA COOKIE.” Slowly, the monster turned around and handed it to him.s16 Slowly, Llama Face started to walk out, as a jet of flames shot out, narrowly missing him. Llama Face could feel the stinging in his eyes. Stumbling out of the cave with the ULTRA COOKIE, Llama Face plopped down in the soft mountain grass and fell asleep. In his dream, Llama Face saw a beautiful bunny with eyesk17 . “Hello, Llama Face,” the bunny said. Her voice was very echo-y. “You have met my husband I see,” she continued, “I am the Cookielady, wife of the Fat Bunny.” “I’m sorry, I’m really confused now,k18 ” admitted Llama Face. The Cookielady laughed gently, “You don’t know the ancient tale. Fat Bunny was a wonderful lord, but there was one who was jealous of him. He came to our palace one day and cursed the two of us. I was turned into a bunny, but Fat Bunny’s curse was worse. He forgot everything of his past life; he became a cookie thief. Our cookie world was trashed and is on the brink of destruction. I told Fat Bunny of his identity a while back. If you find these cookies, our world will be saved.” “I shall find them for the Cookie world!” declared Llama Face. Llama Face went down to the mountain to the small village in the valley. A lady saw his tired face and told him to rest. She gave him a room and food. Llama Face rested for three days, then decided to leave. He found a penny in his pocket and paid the lady k19 for her hospitality. He still had a ten dollar bill in his pocket, so he set out and bought an axe, a pickaxe, and a sword. With his remaining $7, he bought some supplies. The Llama Face was soon tired, hungry, and running out of money, he only had $1 dollar left!k20 He kept going, looking for traces of the ULTRA COOKIEs21 . When, he saw a trail of glowing cookie crumbs, he realized what it was. It was the ULTRA COOKIE! He hurried and followed the crumbs, but then the crumb trail stopped, right in front of a dark scary cave. Llama Face took a deep breath and entered, wondering if it would be the last time he looked at the sky. As he walked in, he turned on the flashlight he had bought. As he shined the flashlight around, he saw something and screamed, dropping the flashlight. The light flickered and turned off as the light bulb burned out. k22 He took a deep breath and told himself it was okay, but he couldn’t calm down. He was stuck in a room with a hydra. Rummaging through his backpack, Llama Face pulled out the sword. Just to check if it was real or not, he stabbed the hydra with sword. His sword was getting sucked into the hydra. Llama felt himself getting pulled into the hydra’s body. His face fell into the monster, and everything went dark. As almost all hope was lost, his foot hit a switch that turned the room into a giant magnet , pulling Llama Face out. Then, when he knew the legend that a hydra grows more heads if one is cut off not to make the same mistake as Hercules prepared to stab it in the heart , it fell apart because it was only a metal hydra meant to trap him. Llama Face looked at his surroundings. The body was dripping with acid, or some kind of liquid. He looked around and saw nothing mechanical. So, he just lit a torch and ran for cover. BOOM! The hydra blew up, and Llama Face was thrown onto the wall! “Ow…I guess that was a mechanical hydra..,” Llama Face said. A little flame was on Llama Face’s face and it wouldn’t go away! Llama Face then jumped into a puddle of oil, thinking it was water. Suddenly, he burst into flames and was crying in pain. Then, he died. Now, you know how in dreams you die in your dream and then you automatically wake up? And, you know how much you hate Inceptions? Put it together and Boom! Llama Face woke up abruptly, panting. What a weird dream, he thought: cookies and llamas. And to think his name was Llama Face. He walked outside, and his daughter skipped past. She looked at him and said, “You’re a fat bunny.” Then, Llama Face tripped and fell on a fire extinguisher. The shock gave him a fatal heart attack. Llama Face died instantly. And, that’s a wrap! So, what is the moral of this story, you ask? Fat bunnies who like cookies are not to be trustedCategory:StoriesCategory:HarmonyCategory:Llama Face